Oh my god, I just farted and it smells so bad. God, I hope lizzie can't smell that shit. I didnt' actually shit, that was like 2 years ago, please.
So, I was just enlightened to a bit of the jewish culture. Apparently between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is when God judges everyone. Gulp. It's not that I'm nervous, it's just that I'm freaking the fuck out. I can usually tell when I'm about to shit a horseshoe, and I'm feeling a little constipated. It's like this warmth in the middle of my chest. Normally I would think it's a heart attack but I can tell that its not. It's like a growing warmth, but it's a hollow warmth, so it's not warming me. Its actually just pushing outwards on the inside of my body. I think it's stress related. I think I'm freaking out. I'm not really, I'm actually calm and collected and I really understand what's going on right now. It's just that everything is taking so long. Every hour and day drips down into a puddle on the floor making it a little closer to the shark infested pool that I have to dive into on wednesday.
Wednesday, why does it have to be Wednesday.
I can't actually type that word without it reading Wed-Nes-Day in my head. Wednesday. Wednesday. Dammit that's annoying.
I wish I could write about something better. Like, I don't know, kittens. I mean I could, but I don't have any new ground breaking research. Lena? Any ground breaking research about kittens? Kittens and pox? Kenz? Kittens and Benzene? Lena? Is what I just said incorrect? I'm sure you'll tell me. Brendo- I ignored your call tonight, I'm sorry. I was playing video games. I was being chased by the Dahaka! It was scary. I will call you tomorrow. Carter- you suck wang. heh. wang. update your blog. Just because I haven't doesn't mean this war is over. I'm just a guerilla. Relatedly (is that a word), to anyone else: If you know how to make my face look like Che Guevara on that t-shirt image, it would be much appreciated. We're making "free jamie" t-shirts.
So. Yeah.
7 comments:
If you need a letter of recommendation, please see my latest blog entry at:
poxlanta.blogspot.com
and feel free to print one out, forge my signature, and give it to Don Hastings.
I'm sorry you're all nervous and farty, it's the worst way to feel.
Jame,
I found some interesting information on the topic of benzene and kittens. However, I haven't figured out how to transmit said information through the blog world.
I'm also sorry that you feel anxious. Good luck tomorrow. I'm rooting for you. But, if the worst happens, you'll find that it isn't the worst thing in the world to be a memory...
Did that sound unsupportive?
Also, I updated my freakin blog twice yesterday and once today so you need to relax!
Um...email? Hello? You totally lied to me on my blog. And after all that work I put into the picture of the cats being chased by those weird creatures whose names we never figured out. How do you post a picture? I'll have to tell you in person/phone cause I don't feel like typing it.
You look hilarious as an extra in Episode 18.
Lena, I think he stopped again. So now we'll have to take over this comments page. Deal? I thought so.
Should we really settle down in this post? It doesn't seem like the most stable post... I mean, he's already posted again and it could only be a short about of time before we're buried. Gone. Like what happened in Post #9. The life of an itinerate Blog Poster sucks.
No, I'm not comfortable here. I'd like to move to another post. What if we started posting on someone else's comment board? Maybe that would be more cozy, more stable.
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